WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My vagina is officially offended.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
