The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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