I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
