How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
