did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
