i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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