So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
