Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize