i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
