I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
