This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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