Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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