Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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