Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
