its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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