she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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