4 words: hood of his car
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
