Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
