hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
