...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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