Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
