Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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