I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
