Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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