Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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