On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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