Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
