just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
