i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
