Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
