just tell him i said nine months
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
