Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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