i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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