Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm like, not good at living.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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