oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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