in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
