And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
