Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
