I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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