Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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