her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize