my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
