i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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