You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
