Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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