Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Vodka?
Forever.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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