Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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