I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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