I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize