her vagine was all disorganized.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
