Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
