hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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