I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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