You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
