all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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