You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
