i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
