if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
