You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
